The Myth of Normal 137

A community of multiple, warm, responsive adult caregivers A climate of positive social support (for mother and infant) Creative free play in Nature with multi-aged mates.[10] “The nest,” Dr. Narvaez told me, “includes the mother relaxed and not stressed during pregnancy, gentle birth processes, soothing perinatal experiences, no separation of mom and baby, no infant circumcision,[*] no painful procedures, breastfeeding, and then affectionate touch constantly in the first year and throughout childhood and life, really.” Recall that it was Narvaez whose contention about human beings being species-atypical I quoted in chapter 8—the only beings on Earth who routinely thwart their own species’ inbuilt needs for healthy growth. “In our culture,” she said, “we have pretty much unnested our children. We are missing most of the components of what helps a baby grow into their full potential, their systems to develop properly. That’s the unnestedness.” Among the Indigenous people who hosted her in the South American jungle, Jean Liedloff once observed an exception to tribal practices that proved a cardinal rule regarding parental discipline of children: “I saw a young father lose patience one day with his year-old son. He shouted and made some violent motion as I watched and may even have struck him. The baby screamed with deafening, unmistakable horror. The father stood chastened by the dreadful sound he had caused; it was clear that he had committed an offense against nature. I saw the family often, as I lived next door to them, but I never saw the man lose respect for his son’s dignity again.”[11] The word “dignity” stands out: how many of us think of babies this way? And yet that omission may only underscore our blind spots when it comes to children. Think about it: even if you’ve never called an infant “dignified,” odds are you’ve met quite a few indignant ones. The word is not figurative, either. Even babies—perhaps they especially—know when their physical and emotional integrity is being ignored or violated. Liedloff’s anecdote comports with Dr. Narvaez’s findings about small-band hunter-gatherers and what has been generally observed about Indigenous cultures: by and large, these did